Your Innocent Smile

(This photo of me, but the poem is not about me, just to be clear)

This is a piece of non rhyming poetry I wrote for someone very dear to me. I never intended to share it when I wrote it, but last night I felt God telling me that this was something someone needed to hear, so here it is.

Your innocent smile breaks my heart 

You didn’t know what was coming

That only a year after that photo

Tears seem to come more than the smile 

And your heart seems so broken 

When it used to be so full

I wish you could have held onto that innocence

Because this thing called reality has wrecked you

No one knows if you will ever be whole again

But we all know that you’re hurting now

And we all wish we could do something

But the decision is really up to you 

You decide what you do, and we will help

You’re the one in charge.

Perhaps someday you will be able to go back to being whole

But once you’ve lost your innocence, it’s gone for good

And you will never be who you once were

And will never look at life the same way

I cry for you, having lost so much

Because I’m grieving the loss of who you used to be

But, please fight another day

Become this new you

Because you have great things ahead of you 

And you will learn to smile more than cry soon

My Room, Remodeled

Hello everyone! I hope your day is going as well as mine is! Okay, so last week I told y'all I was remodeling my room. It took us from the 18'th to the 25'th to finish up everything, but its finally done! We took the popcorn off the ceiling and painted it. We put new floors down, and touched up the paint on the walls. It was hard work, but was fun nonetheless. I could tell you long sob stories about how scraping the ceiling hurt my arms, or how I cut my foot (its not that bad, don't worry) or how I had to wait to finish an amazing book until after the remodeling. Or I could tell you of how my family heroically gave up the living room to store all our stuff while we worked, or how my mom and sister got bruises putting in our new floor, or how my sister sacrificially gave up her desk, and exchanged it for a smaller sewing table. But, I don't have to tell everything in detail. ;P

If you would like to see how my room used to look, why don't you hop over to THIS POST on a blog I do with seven other amazing girls. Once you've looked at that, so you can see the difference, let's dive in!

The entrance: 

As you can see, we moved a bookcase behind the door.

And now *Drumroll* The room! 

This is the view looking from our window seat. 

(The bookself is Rebekkahs books)

And then tilting the camera up so you can see the shelf above our closet.

Behind the door: 

Vintage and inspiration area. 

Our window seat.

The big white desk is mine. The sewing table is Rebekah's (My sister whom I share the room with).

(and, if you look at the ground under my desk is my new rug. I really love that thing)

My books and Rebekah's candy jar collection, and horses.

There you go, and look at our newly remodeled room. What do you think? 

A Good Soldier of Christ Jesus

I was flipping through my bible this morning, not really sure what I was looking for, but sure I was going to find it. And I did. I found 2 Timothy 2:4-7

Botanical Garden Photos

Would you like to have a nice, in depth post on my life lately? I would. But my week has been hijacked. We decided this was the perfect time to touch up the paint in my room, take down the popcorn on the ceiling, and put down new floorboards. So, at the moment I am ready to fall asleep in my paint covered clothes, but my room is strewn out all over the house. I'll show you lots of photos of that next week, but for right now, I've got to get back to work. 

Here are some photos from the botanical gardens in Fort Worth. I know there are a lot of photos, but I had a really hard time narrowing them down.

The Me You Want Me To Be

I wrote this on Tuesday. I thought maybe y'all might like it, so here it is.

I want to be the person you made me to be

Not this self-invented fake I’ve made of me 

I build the fake in every way

I build it with every lie I say

And how I try to make them think I’m alright

And that I’m not losing a fight

I try to hid the brokenness inside

And all the hurt and pride

I try to make the outside of me clean

And make it presentable to be seen

It’s the best scheme I can contrive

Because it seems like I have to do that to survive

There’s too much hurt to face all the pain

It hurts so bad I think its driving me insane

Because sometimes I forget

That you’re not finished with me yet

You don’t care if I am a mess

You don’t mind all the stress

You don’t mind if I look a sight

Or if I harbor a lot of fright

Because you’re willing to start working with me now

To show me how to me healed and how,

To be cleaned from the inside out

To get rid of all the doubt

Because you never made me to be broken

You meant me to be whole sense before my first word was spoken

You want to clean all the pain from me

And make me the me you want me to be

And I must admit I want it to

If only to see what you will do

Because I know you have a plan that is great,

And it is definitely worth the wait.