Monday, February 19, 2018

When Dreams Are Just Beyond Your Fingertips



I've been thinking a lot about dreams recently (Which explains last weeks post.) and I suddenly realized something. Sitting here, at eighteen years old, I am almost touching some dreams I had when I was younger.

Go to college. Learn to drive. Have a consistent job. Grow my blog. 

So maybe none of my dreams are huge, but they felt huge to me. They still do, in a way. 

I will be taking online college classes this year. Though I'm not going for a degree, I am looking forward to going back into school (Yes, I've missed it). 

This month I will be taking my first driving lessons. I might be a bit late jumping onto the bandwagon with this one, but that's because my siblings needed to learn first. I'm excited to finally get behind the driver seat. 

I'm am now working regularly as a babysitter. While babysitting is not my favorite thing to do, it has been great. Not only am I learning new skills, but I'm also earning money to pay for my college!

For two months now I have been working on a plan for my blog. I've realized some of the faults I have when it comes to blogging, and I'm working on ways to get better. I can't wait to see where the blog will go from here.

I've been dreaming about these things for years, and now they are close enough to feel. I am excited to see them unfold and see what God has in store. 

What are some dreams you are near to touching? 

Monday, February 12, 2018

The Dreams of a Thousand Nights


Here in this place 
Lays to rest
The dreams of a thousand nights 
The hopes of a thousand tomorrows 
The wishes of a hundred dandelions
And the longings of countless days 
Here in this place 
Lays to rest 
The dreams of a thousand dreamers 
Hundreds of fallen starts 
Here is laid to rest 
A million tears of pain 
The sadness of winter nights 
The anguish of summers crushed 
The bitterness of fall’s past 
And the depression of never sprouting spring 
Here in this place 
Is laid to rest 
Everything that we wanted 
Everything that we wished for 
Everything that should have come 
Here in this place 
Is laid to rest 
Every dream Good choose not to fulfill 
In the hope beyond hope 
That He will use these broken things 
To be soil for new plants
New dreams 
New hope and the promise 
Of countless tomorrows 
To be with Him 

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

January Highlights


I can't believe January is already over! Here are my highlights from the month!


I printed off my book Flight from Kelar using Lulu.com so I could read through it easier! It was awesome getting to hold my book like that for the first time. The cover turned out so much better then I expected.

I won a copy of Blossoms Gold by Hayden Wand and it was beautiful!

My sister and I roasted marshmallows in our little fireplace! It turned out surprisingly well. Before that I had only ever made them over a bonfire, so this was a new experience.


This is Luke with my gear from our walk.

I took a long walk with my dog Luke for company. We went for several miles and I just enjoyed getting to think. 

On a little back road behind our property I found an abandoned tractor. Obviously this meant I needed to take pictures with it, so I did.

I got a job! Okay, so its only one day a week for two hours, but its awesome. I'm helping babysit during a woman's bible study. It's been great!


This is the Super Blue Blood moon!

My family and I got up at six to watch the super blue blood moon. We had blankets and hot chocolate and a great view from our deck. Unfortunately just as it was covered clouds moved in. But we did get it see it up until then, so it was totally worth it!! 

Its that time of year again when things are frozen yet somehow Ceder lives on. I was down with a fever and burning eyes several times this month. Thankfully it hasn't been as bad lately!



One day I was hit with inspiration and I wrote a 1,800 word flash fiction called "Alice." Unfortunately, that was the only writing I got done all month long. =/

I took a lovely two week blogging break. It gave me some great time to just step away and reevaluate some things. I'm working on some new plans for the blog now!

I worked my first 1,000 piece puzzle with my sister Rebekkah. It was a Nancy Drew puzzle my mom got me, which was super cool!


Maybe Summer of 1999

The Purest Lauren Elizabeth 

Fly Bird Fly Letters to Jayna 


When Books Become Movies Writing is Life



Thoughts: Change and Two Years A Purpose and a Promise 


My January was not all I expected, but it was good! How about you?

Friday, February 2, 2018

What a Month Without Movies Taught Me



It's easy for me to get wrapped up in movies. I'm that person that could pretty much love any movie the first time. I get caught up in the emotions and characters. I love dramatic scenes and amazing endings. Once I start a series, I want to see the whole thing. I tend to overlook flaws in logic (because I really don't mind them in most shows) and minor bad content.

So while making my new years resolutions I decided that for one month, I would put aside all movies (including YouTube). I've done this multiple times before over the years, and I've always enjoyed it. Since I only average about two movies per week when I'm really into them, I didn't think it would be that bad. I didn't even think about evaluating my movie choice while I was away from them.
Let me tell you, when you completely step away from something, you start seeing it in a different light.

On January 7'th I was home alone and reading through Philippians. I stumbled on Philippians 4:8 again.


And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. -NLT-



Now I've read this verse a lot in my life. So I decided to play a little game with it that my mom taught me. I would see if the movies I loved could stand up to the test. I tried Star Trek first because I've watched hand picked episodes. It stood up to the honorable test. ... yup. that was about it. 

Then I got to thinking, you know, Star Trek is about the most worldly show I watch, so I decided to try something more neutral: Bionic Woman, the old 70's TV show. Its a pretty light, fun show with no objectionable content in the first season.  So... it stood up to pure and honorable. But when I thought about it there was nothing really good in that show ether. 
So tried one last one The Encounter. Its a Christian movie that has really blessed me. It past every single test. But I got cought up on the worthy of praise thing. What is worthy of praise, exactly? I decided to look it up in my concordance. 
Out of all the mentions of praise in the Bible, only a handful of them have to do with anything other then God. 
So it would stand to reason that since God is pretty much the only thing mentioned as worthy of praise that only movies that bring us closer to God are worthy of praise.


So all month long I've been thinking about that. I'll be honest, I don't like the idea of giving up all my non Christian movies. But here are some things I've realized now that I'm almost done.


1. I used my free time better. I got a lot more reading done this month, and I really got to thinking about how often I waste my time on movies and YouTube when I have work to do.

2. Most of the movies I am excited to get back to are Christian ones. Somehow a lot of the movies I was really itching for at the beginning of the month seem shallow.

3. It's been easier to push away fear. I've always had a bit of trouble with the unknowns of walking in the dark by myself. But without movies (good or bad) ringing in my ears, telling me what might be hiding out there, it's been easier to reason with myself how ridiculous I'm being.

4. Its hard to let go. In reading Philippians 4:8 I realize there are no exceptions. Period. God call's us to an incredibly high standard so that our life's will be a better quality. But letting go of the things I've loved and still love is hard.

I'm not promising that from now on I will never watch another show that isn't Christian. I have had some secular movies that have blessed be immensely. But what I am going to try to do is think before I sit down to watch something. God gave me the gift of free choice, and I want to use it wisely.

So what are your thoughts on this, do you agree, or disagree? I'd love to talk with you in the comment section below.

Friday, January 26, 2018

Every Day, All Day


Hello everyone! Its been a rather long two weeks of silence. But it was good.

I don't know if you knew this; but I'm an extremist. I ether love or hate for the most part. I get easily pulled into debates because I feel that people are standing to much in the middle ground. But this blog has been my middle ground. I choose to blog about what I felt comfortable with. I haven't felt scared when I hit that publish button for months. I have blogged about what I knew would get a nice response and what I wouldn't have to dig to much into my messy side.

But the truth is I'm a messy, messy human being. Sometimes I feel like all I do is fall flat on my face. And what I did this time was make a blog all about me. I have built this blog so focused around me and the attention it got. I have long since lost focus of why I was doing it.

The truth is that I care a lot about y'all. Even though my blogging hasn't reflected it as much as I want it to, the thing that keeps me coming back is y'all. I want to make a difference.

During my break I looked at some of my favorite blogs and started thinking about why they were my favorites.

All of them had things in conman:

1. The bloggers are very strong Christians
2. They posted about their life in an encouraging way
3. They were honest about their mistakes

I want to be like that. I don't feel like I've failed completely, but I know I haven't been giving my all to this blog. 

So what am I going to do about it? Honestly, I'm not entirely sure. I've spent two weeks praying abut this and brainstorming. I do have some ideas but what they all boil down to is that I need to live every day, all day, all in for God. Not just in my blogging, but in my everyday life.

I don't know where I'm going but I know what I'm reaching for.

So I'm back. Hopefully better then before. 
Thanks for sticking with me.



(Also this was my 500'th post!)