My First Novel Finished

Happy March everyone! Its an all around awesome day, so I'll just dive in!

I finished the first draft of Flight From Kelar!! It took me four months of writing, one of which was NaNo, so I wrote 50,000 in it then, and I have struggled through the next eight thousand words these past three months. It is a complete mess, from my sloppy beginning, to my cheesy ending, but I love the whole thing. This is twice as long as my next longest book, so I am really excited. I would off y’all an excerpt from the book, but it is so messy right now I couldn’t find anything good enough to be shown. I’m going to give the book a break before I tackle it again. I’ll probably get back to it after CampNaNo. Is anyone else excited about camp?

Also, this is my four hundredth post!! Every hundred marker just makes me so happy. I’ve got a post that is pretty close to my heart coming up on Friday to celebrate, and then my February highlights on Monday. 

Also, I have two packages on the way, and I just got a whole set of books from the library, is this too awesome or what? Also one of the packages is a book, so it’s like double the awesomeness. 

What’s your longest book you’ve written? 

Have you hit any blogging milestones lately? 

And most important, do you have any packages on the way? 

Let’s talk ya’ll! 

Courage and Corruption Blog Tour

About the Book

Catherine is going with her mother and younger siblings to the mountains to hide from the coming war. While she fears what might happen she is looking forward to some time away from her twin brother, with whom she often fights. One foolish act changes all their plans, and one story caused not only confusion, but more fighting.

Christopher does not believe his father’s story that they are descended from royalty. He is sure the story his father tells cannot be true. However, he is forced to go to the mountain castle of Coraway along with his mother and siblings. Will his father ever see him as a man? Will he and his twin ever be able to stop fighting?

Little do Catherine and Christopher realize that they hold the key to Taelis’ future in their hands. While they discover the truth before it is too late?

My Review:

I have never read a book by Sarah Holman that I didn't love. This was no exception. The two main siblings in this story had a problems many of us can relate to. They both struggle and the problems do not go away right away. I was refreshed to read a book set in medieval times that was not all about battles and sword fights. Actually this book has relatively no action in it. But it was amazing. It was really nice to focus more on characters then battles.

I was mildly sad because your seeing characters from previous books old and dying.

This one more then any of the other books needs to have backstory from the first two books. 

If  you haven't read them, why don't you check out the first book? They are incredible and you will not regret it. 

About the Author

Sarah Holman is a not so typical mid-twenties girl: A homeschool graduate, sister to six awesome siblings, and author of many published books and short stories. If there is anything adventuresome about her life, it is because she serves a God with a destiny bigger than anything she could have imagined.

You can find her at her website: www.thedestinyofone.com

Follow the Tour

November 15

Faith Blum

Lakeside Publication

Claire Banschbach

November 16

Ordinary Girl, Extraordinary Father

November 17

Learning Resource Directory

Into the Bookcase

November 19

Gods Peculiar Treasure

A Pinch of Faith

            

Find it on Goodreads and on Amazon 

A Bedraggled Princess

This month I am starting in on a new book. Its the fifth book in my series The Princesses, and its called (as you probably have already guessed) A Bedraggled Princess. I'm really excited to start this one, because it is the first of three books that all take place at the same time. I've never tried something like this, so its been really fun so far! Here is a little piece from the book. I know its not the best, but I haven't written very much, so there wasn't to much to choose from.

“Alright my brother, what do you see in this blacksmith shop?”

Gregory scanned the shop, the look of a child being brought into a room of toys coming to his face “I see a job. A way to serve the people. I see somewhere where I won’t have to sit in a stuffy room and learn athematic. I see somewhere I will make a difference.”

I let out my breath “You see a lot more than I do.”

“But don’t you get it?” He said, taking me gently by the shoulders “If I could work here, I could finally be doing something to help."

I'm lost in my own world

Sorry guys, I kind of got lost. Don't worry, its a happy type lost. Over the last couple of years I have been working on writing three different book series and now I'm getting towards the end of all three. But in order for me to write the ending I really want, I feel like I have to get lost in my book. That means my sister putting up with random pictures of characters pinned up around our room. And I'm listening to music they would listen to, and a lot of times when I'm doing ordinary stuff thinking "now what would my character do here?" All of which contributes to this crazy thing I call writing.

Lets not dwell to long on the fact that I haven't done any writing this month. I have no valid excuse. Lets just say me and my characters are having a adamant discussion on how my next story should start.

Overall, I kind of like being lost, its fun. What about you?

Camp, 20,000 Words, and Spys

Writing Wednesday #33

Well, CampNaNo is over for another year. I was really blessed this season by being in a group with some really sweet christian girls, and amazing writers.

These are my stats from the final day I wrote, and when I finished my book. I ended up with 22,500 words, which was 2,500 words over my goal! And so my third book about Mandy McMullen is done. This one happens to be something about spies, which I just loved. I posted a small snidbit of this book here, which was probably my favorite moment in the whole story. 

But here is another snidbit of the book:

"I think people misunderstand what home is.” 

“And what is it to you?” He said with a slight smile. 

I looked up at the sky; it was turning a darker shade of blue as the sun went down “To me, home is someone I love holding me close when I need it the most.”  

His gaze fell again, “Then I don’t think I’ve ever had a home.” 

What do you think of this?

Did you do CampNano?

Review of The Silent Blade

Writing Wednesday #32

Synopsis:

Dromiskin, Ireland. 925 A.D.

Eira has no greater desire than to see her life returned to what it once was—before her older brother Kevin's sudden disappearance four years earlier. But the simple life she hoped for seems unattainable; on the contrary, her life is about to get all the more complicated.
When she suddenly finds herself and Willem, her twin brother, taken captive by someone who claims to be Kevin’s enemy, things go from bad to worse. It soon becomes clear that she and Willem are to become bait in a trap set for Kevin, and Eira knows she must try to warn him. But how, when she herself is a captive?
As mysteries of the past are unveiled, and loyalties are revealed, Eira realizes how precious her friends truly are. And when mortal danger threatens those nearest to her, will she be able to trust God with the lives of her friends and family?

Today I've got a review of The Silent Blade by Jesseca Wheaton! You can add the book on Goodreads, here, and find the author here.


When I saw an open invitation to advance read for The Silent Blade I was super excited. I had followed the author’s blog for a while and already loved her writing style. This was even better than I expected. 

I fell in love with the characters, and I loved seeing them progress 

The main girl captured my heart very quickly into the book. She’s an ordinary girl who struggles with ordinary problems which make her very relatable. She’s not gifted in many things girls are ‘supposed’ to be, like cooking and dancing and the like, but she’s still very feminine.

Her brothers were pretty awesome, just saying. Kevin is like the ultimate older brother. 

Casimer was awesome, he’s protective and loving, and you just can’t help but love him.

I will say though, there was one thing that bugged me about this book. At one point a character gets mistreated by a bad guy, and when their rescued, they just say “don’t be mad at him, I’ve forgiven him.” And I think what the author was trying to do was build a forgiveness message up in the book, but what it made it sound like was that the good character was unrealistic. 

But I really loved the book and I hope to read many more of this authors books as she publishes them.

*I was given this book by the author in exchange for my honest review. I was under no obligation to give a positive review.

About the Author
Jesseca is an 18-year old daughter, sister, and a child of God. Her days are spent reading, cooking, spending time with siblings, or playing piano.  And writing, of course! At an early age words fascinated her, and her love for the printed page has only grown. She lives with her parents and seven siblings in the sunny state of Kansas, and she’s convinced there’s no place like home. 

Thanks for reading! 

Every wave speaks a poem

Writing Wednesday #31

I don't know about you, but to me, beaches speak poetry. While we were there on vacation, I wrote several poems, but I thought I would share my favorite.

Every wave speaks a poem

Every wind, a song

The sun says he knows Him

Who makes them last all day long

The creator of all things

The one who loves us all

He's the one to whom the bird sings

And the mighty waters form a wall

He made the endless seashores

And waters to cover them

He opened the floodgates doors

And The oceans bring him glory to Him

The shells it leaves on the sand

Bring hope and joy to many a persons who come

Becauses it brings things from the greatest depths onto land

And from far off lands come some

God made everything in the sea

He made the wind, the waves and the shells

The ocean brings us hope, but God wants us to be

A light, and free people from their worldly cells.

Just Your Ordinary...

Writing Wednesday #30

Okay guys, y'all know I've been talking about my 'Ordinary' series a lot lately. I just finished writing and editing the second book, and the characters have not let me alone since. They keep showing up all over the place in my imagination and so I decided that my next book project with be the third and final book in the series. (and all the characters cheer, because its been two years since I started this series)

Now, I haven't actually written much more then the chapter title, because I want this opening to be extra good. After all, its the last opening in the series so I want it to be really good.
Mandy is changing from a kid to an adult, its a hard, but good transition. She is learning to love, and to let go. To wait, and to forge ahead. The second book in the series was definitely the most emotional of all the books, but the last one is where all those emotions are going to be resolved. So, if your interested to knowing more about this series, you can search my tag Just Your Ordinary Girl Or go to my pinterest board, where I've got pictures of lots of the characters, here.

And if you want to be super dedicated and listen to the songs which have inspired and helped this book, here'ss my playlist:

Something 'bout Love by David Archuleta
Rescue Me by Kerrie Roberts
Hold On by TobyMac
and....
Freedom Fighters by Two Steps From Hell.

Is there something you would like to know about this series? Drop me a note below!

It seemed logical at the time

Writing Wednesday #29

Now that camp is over, I've started editing my project. There's nothing quite like editing to make me acutely aware of all the little mistakes I make while writing everyday. Not to mention it gives me an added appreciation for the whole writing process because it is so much easier than editing. 

This book in particular I realized how much of my plotting is done on the spot. I just dived into the plot with a few vague ideas such as 'Mandy needs to go and see her family' and such with no real plot planned out. On the whole, I'm realizing the book turned out pretty good, but I'm still coming across passages that I read and then go "Why did I ever write that?" and my brain responds with a shrug and "Well, it seemed logical at the time." 

This is a small clip from my book, Just Your Ordinary Messenger, which I had actually forgotten about, but while writing this blog post I found it and just had to include it. 

“Mandy, you cleaned the apartment?” She asked with an upraised eyebrow.

I nodded.

“You’ve been captured by enemy agents and held for four days and the first thing you did when you got back was to clean up?” 

“It seemed logical at the time.”

Have you done anything recently that seemed logical at the time, but doesn't now?

Writing Wednesday #28

CampNaNoWriMo

Well, Camp is almost over. I'm really not sure how it managed to fly by as quickly as it did. I have just barely managed to keep up with my goal of never being behind on my goal. Since I don't write on Sunday Saturday nights have been really packed with writing.

On the twenty third I reached my goal of 15,000 and every day since I've been writing like crazy trying to reach the 20,000 I need to finish the book I'm writing. =)

This book has been very unlike any book I have ever written before. This on has both a lot of action, and a family story, which I have never done before.

Mandy, my main character is caught between a family crisis and a work crisis. She has to put time and effort into both. I didn't intend to write such a pull between two aspects of life, but I realized as I wrote it that it was something a lot of us struggle with.

Here's a small clip from the book. I hope you enjoy it!

I walked up the drive and shifted my duffle bag on my shoulder. I hardly felt prepared for seeing my dad again, or my sister, Aubrey, for that matter. I had been away from them so long it seemed like meeting people for the first time and just knowing  their backstory. Aubrey had talked to me as little as possible, and my dad had been too busy to talk much. I hoped that even though the reason for our meeting was rather sad, that this would bring us all back together as a family.

What did you think? Please comment below and tell me!

Have you written any books with an pulls from two different aspects of life?

Writing Wednesday #27

My Camp NaNoWriMo project

Its CampNaNoWriMo. This is one of my favorite times of year because it means I get a lot more writing done then usual. This year has been especially awesome because I was invited into a cabin with some other Christian bloggers and it has been awesome!

I am actually writing Just Your Ordinary Messenger, which I have shared the beginning to before, but I re-wrote it, so I thought I would share it again. Forgive the grammar errors, please, this is its rough draft! Please comment and tell me what you think of it!

*****

I wasn’t sure where I was. I felt disorientated and foggy. It was like I was coming out of a very deep sleep. I was sore, and stiff all over, like I hadn’t moved in a long time. Slowly my senses came back and I because aware of the fact that I was in a car, though I hadn’t ventured to open my eyes yet, the familiar sensation was unmistakable.

Where am I? I asked myself, surprised that I couldn’t at once recall. I wracked my brain, trying to remember where I had last been.

I was with Matt. I thought He was taking me to A.C.T. wasn’t he? I must still be in his car, though I don’t even remember falling asleep.

I opened my eyes, but was startled to be met by blackness. My heart rate quickened, why can’t I see? I moved my hand to touch my eyes, but found myself unable to move them as well. I could now hear my heart beating I was beginning to get so scared. What is going on? The frantic thought wouldn’t stop racing through my head, not matter how I tried to stop it.

“Are you sure she won’t remember any of what happened?” A male voice penetrated the silence, startling me almost so bad that I jumped, but I managed to stop myself. I didn’t recognize his voice.

“I told you sir, she won’t remember any of it for a long time. Long enough for you to make a clean getaway.” A second, younger man replied.

*****

What did you think?

Writing Wednesday #26

It is not always easy 

This is a poem I wrote. I thought y'all might like it.

It’s easy to talk about being brave 

It’s easy to talk about the life’s you’ll save 

It’s easy to say you will always stand strong, 

That you won’t waver all day long

It’s easy to say you will always stand by your friends 

Even through all the hard things that life sends 

It’s easy to think you will always be there 

Always full of love and care 

But it’s much more easily said than done 

It’s really a very hard battle to be won 

To be brave even when it is hard 

To save someone’s life when their scarred 

It’s hard to stand strong when you’re standing alone 

When you’ve been standing so long you have to groan 

It’s hard to stand by friends when it hurts you back 

When all you get from the friendship is flack 

Sometimes it’s hard to be there all the time 

When even being kind is an upward climb

But take a moment and let me tell you this: 

That if you can do these things people will not miss

The love to Christ that is within you

Shining in whatever you do. 

Its not always easy, sometimes its downright hard 

Sometimes it leaves you jarred 

But it is always worth it 

It’s worth every little bit 

It’s worth the tears and heartbreak to

Because that’s what God sent us here to do 

Writing Wednesday #25

Odd leader

This is a clip of a story I wrote a long time ago, but I thought I would share it with y'all. Enjoy!
(And to any Texans reading this blog post, happy Texan independence day!)

A single tear slid down her face. In the moments in which it slid, the world seemed to hold still. Everyone began to stare at her. No other tears followed, but that one had been enough. She never cried, most believed she didn’t know how. Now she had been moved to tears by the most unexpected thing.

“What’s the matter ma’am?” A man said, running up to her.

“I’m fine.” She said, her voice quivering. Then she motioned to the coffin being carted by; “What an incredible waste of a life.”

“Ma’am that coffin is for your enemy, you did us all a service by getting rid of him.”

“But he had such a broken life, so cold, I wish he hadn’t died so that someone might have been able to speak to him about Christ.”

“Nothing could ever change our view on him after all the lives he took.”

“But he could have had peace and forgiveness from the One that matters most.”

Everyone thought she was a fool, shedding her first public tears for her enemy. Everyone else thought she would be smiling, glad to be finally rid of the menace. But she was different, different from everyone else. No one quite understood her, but they all respected her, for she did a lot of good and led the community towards working together. Her sentiment seemed to come out when she was expect to be strong, her grace when she was expected to be harsh, her sadness when happiness was expected, her humility when she was expected to be proud. She was the oddest, but best ruler the town had every known, and no one knew why.

Writing Wednesday #24

God is going to be with you 

This is a poem I wrote today, and I thought I would share it with y'all.

This life is filled with tears 

It’s filled with insults and jeers 

It’s easy to let them get you down

And let it all make you frown

But this is not what our lives are about

So don’t you worry or pout 

Because God has your life in his hand

Whether you’re on the sea, air or land 

He is going to take care of you 

And he is going to see you through 

To when this pain is gone 

Even if it takes years long 

God is always going to be there 

All you have to do is to share, 

Share with him all the pain inside 

And let him sit by your side 

Writing Wednesday #23

A poem

Hello! I thought I'd share a poem with y'all that I wrote awhile back. It was inspired by a friend of mine. 

Everyone looked at the girl in a perfect blue dress 

She looked like perfection would be less 

She loved her family and they loved her back 

And for making friends she had a knack

She was perfect in every sense 

No one ever called her dense. 

If you asked her she would say she was fine 

In every way she seemed to shine. 

But once she breaks away from everyone with a sigh 

She goes by herself and has a cry 

Because even though she might look perfect 

Inside she is really quite wrecked. 

She holds a lot of hurt inside 

And she has no one in which to confide. 

Her heart hurts so much she thinks it will break 

When people call her perfect more pain does wake 

Because she knows she's just as flawed as the rest 

And she's been through just as hard of a test 

She try's to tell them all that she is flawed 

But they are all still by her awed. 

They refused to acknowledge she is not what they think 

And know that she is on the brink. 

She cry's in her room all alone 

All because they refuse to own 

That she really is not as perfect as she seems 

She is still the perfect girl in their dreams.

Writing Wednesday #22

Story: Heartless

Here is the second half of my story Heartless. If you missed the first half, you can read it -here-

Heartless. Part Two by Mikayla H.

That day Jackie actually did pretty well at improving her act. In fact, for two weeks she amazed her dad with how much she minded him. But, soon the memory of the heart mistress was not so fresh on her mind and she began to think of it as a weird dream. Soon, she fell back into all her old habits, and some new ones to. Each one distressing her dad, and each time she did something wrong, a tiny piece of the heart fell off. Seven months later there was only a tiny sliver left, and it had turned to a faded red. Jackie Groff’s heart was slowly blowing away to nothing, and she had chosen to ignore that fact. Instead, she went on her way, doing what she thought was making her happy, but deep down in was only inflicting her pain, making her heart grow smaller every time.

At one point, Jackie was afraid that perhaps the Heart Mistress would come back and warn her again, but she soon forgot that fear. Nothing seemed to matter to her except herself.

“Jackie, you grow worse every day, what am I supposed to do with you?” Her father asked one day.

“Oh dad,” She sneered “don’t you try and touch my life. I’ll handle it anyway I like and with that she stormed out of the house to meet Brice.

“Hey, you ready to pull this job off?” Brice asked as they met.

“If it means me getting out of that stuffy old house and away from my dad, yeah, I am perfectly ready to do this.” Jackie responded.

And so the two of them went off to perform a deed that, if Jackie had been in possession of more of her heart, probably would never have thought have doing. But these two teenagers were in the same boat, both having little left of their hearts and having no wish to get what they had lost back. 

“You cover the girl at the main desk, I’ll go a get the chip.” Jackie said, as they entered the housing office.

Brice did his part and started distracting the girl at the front desk, and Jackie snuck into the back room where all the chips were stored. The specific one she was looking for was the chip with a permission pass for under aged kids to live alone. Although Jackie was only five months away from her birthday, she felt as if she could not live another moment with her dad. But her dad had refused to give his consent to her living alone so, she felt, she was forced to steal permission. It took Jackie longer then she had thought to find the chip, but when she did, she slid it into her pocket and was about to walk out again when the door opened and in walked a lady.

“What are you doing here?” The lady cried “You’re not staff!”

Jackie panicked, knowing that if she was caught with the chip, she would be thrown in jail. That wasn’t the way she wanted to get away from her father. And so, grabbing the nearest object, which happened to be a metal rod, she hit the lady over the head with it. She crumpled to the ground and Jackie ran out where Brice was. Casually, he ended his conversation with the desk clerk and the two of them walked away, thinking they had pulled the perfect crime.

But things didn’t go as perfectly as they had planned. While Jackie went to find the perfect house to use the chip on; a story spread over the town though the internet and passed from person to person. It was about two kids who had robbed the housing office, and the next morning, as Jackie had just woken from a fitful sleep, a police officer knocked at the door.

“I’d like to see Jackie Groff.” He asked.

Mr. Groff at once put the pieces together of the story’s he had heard about the robbery, and Jackie. A piece of his heart broke, but not in the way Jackie’s had been breaking. Hers was slowly going away from choosing not to use it, but his heart was breaking from sadness. A kind of sadness no child can understand for it is the deep, piercing pain only a parent can feel towards one of their children who has gone astray.

 “I’ll bring her right down.” He said, letting the officer in and slowly went upstairs. There was no easy way to hand his child over to the police. In a way, he wanted to protect her, keep her from that punishment, and hope that she really had not done it. But he knew that if she had really broken the law, she had to feel the consequences. He prayed that perhaps this would teach Jackie the lesson she needed about obeying authority.

“Jackie, open up.” He said, knocking on her door.

“I’m busy.” She called back, as she lay on her bed, still not having made the effort to get up.

“There’s someone here to see you.” He said.

With that there was a great rustling as Jackie leapt out of bed and dressed, for of course she assumed it was Brice. He was the only one who came to see her on a regular basis.

Not even speaking to her dad as she pushed past him to get out her door, Jackie ran down the stairs. She was wondering why Brice would have come to her house. He knew her dad hated him, so Brice stayed away. But all those thoughts vanished as she opened the living room door and, to her amazement, saw no sign of Brice, but instead there sat a policeman!

 “I have come to see you, Miss Groff, about the recent disappearance of a chip from the housing offices. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?” The policeman asked.

“I might.” Jackie submitted, slumping down on the couch.

“Might you also happen to know about a lady who, in that same office, was hit over the head and even now lies close to death?”

“What?” Jackie cried, jumping up. She thought she had merely knocked out the lady, not injured her.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” the officer sighed “I’m going to have to take you down to the station. Come with me please.”

Jackie let herself be pulled into his car, for she was almost in a daze after hearing that the lady could be close to death. She had never taken another human life in her seventeen years, and the thought shocked her. But as they drove to the station; something inside of Jackie hardened. A wall came up to protect her. She didn’t think about life she could have taken again, only the fact that this would hurt her. She would not be free to go and see Brice. She would be even more confined then she had been at her own home! Oh, the dread such a thought brought to Jackie was immense.

Getting out at the station, Jackie was asked dozens of questions; what was her full name, why had she stolen the chip, if anyone had helped her, how old she was, where she lived. They went on and on, being repeated, written, and recorded. Jackie answered them all with indifference. At the end she was put in a cell to wait for her court day.

The cell was essentially a metal box. The door she was let in by had a square foot hole with bars in it. There was a cot, and Jackie sat down on this, exhausted by the morning’s events. She lay, staring at the ceiling, wondering if this perhaps would be her home for the rest of her life. If that lady died, she would have murder charges and they could give her life in jail for that. Jackie wondered what it would be like to live here always with nothing to do. It hurt her that her freedom was being squelched. She pounded her fists on the bed, wishing she could do the same to one of the policemen.

“You are all gone.”

Jackie jumped up from the bed, she knew that voice. Low and behold, there, by the other wall, stood the Heart Mistress. The red on her dress as flaming red as ever.

Jackie laughed, “What? Are you here to try to make good again?”

“There is no longer any use trying,” the Heart Mistress said; her voice flat “you no longer have a heart.”

“Yeah, right.” Jackie laughed sourly.

“My point is proved by this incident. You have killed a woman, you are void of all good. You no longer have a heart.”

“What!” Jackie cried, but the Heart Mistress disappeared.

A few minutes later, a policeman came to tell Jackie that the woman she had hit just died, but Jackie barely heard. She nodded her head and fell onto the bed. She didn’t know how long she lay there, starring, thinking over it all.

Heartless.

Her mind screamed the word. She wanted to think about something else; but her mind screamed it over and over until it had worked itself into a rhythm; almost like a chanting song.

Mean and viscous can’t you tell? I wish the pain would leave as well, now that I’m heartless. Heartless!

There’s nothing left inside my soul, no love or joy, only coal, now that I’m heartless.

They’re will never be any love for me, not for all eternity, now that I’m heartless. Heartless!

No one else could know this pain, I don’t know if I’ll still be sain, now that I’m heartless.

Why did she have to leave all the bad? Take away the good and leave the sad. I’ll never know what it is to love; I’ll feel that of such things I’m above now that I’m heartless. Heartless!

I don’t know what I’m capable of, surely never again will I love, now that I’m heartless.

I’m mean and cruel can’t you tell? I wish all this pain would leave as well, now that I’m heartless. Heartless!

Jackie didn’t sleep that night; she sat awake, staring at the ceiling, her mind running with the chat over and over again. Heartless! Her eyes had dark circles under them when they came to get her for a meeting with the judge.

She was sentenced to three months in jail and then a supervised house for five years with an officer. The three months passed almost as in a dream. Jackie spent most of time just staring, wondering why she was not given another chance. The loss of her heart seemed to have come on way to fast, without any chance to get out of the horrible consequences. Now she was set in this way, never to be able to feel anything good again. Jackie sobbed, pain ripping at her, piercing every part of her. Nothing mattered anymore, life was now pointless. She was never going to be happy again.

After three months, she was transferred into an apartment that was supervised by a middle aged woman named Mrs. Franks. Jackie scowled when she first walked in; it was a tiny place, only a small bedroom, kitchen and a small living room. She flung down her backpack that her dad had brought by with her stuff in it.

“This is it?” Jackie asked, looking around, expecting to see a door leading to the next part or some such thing.

“This is it.” Mrs. Franks said, crossing her arms.

Jackie gave the room another cynical glance.

“You know, I’ve had a lot of kids like you come here for supervision, but I think you are by far the most ruthless one of the lot. How could you be so heartless?”

The word shook Jackie to the core, making her wonder if Mrs. Franks knew about her loss of heart. But one look at her told Jackie that it had only been a casual use of the word. “Once you get used to it, being heartless is quite easy.” She responded, feeling anger and sadness.

Mrs. Frank sighed and walked out the door.

Jackie’s suit connected to Mrs. Franks so that Jackie couldn’t go anywhere without her knowing. Jackie didn’t know where to start. She had been living whatever way she wanted for the past seventeen years and she didn’t know what else to do. All her connections had been cut off, Brice was still in jail for few months and she had never tried to do much away from the gang.

She unzipped her backpack to see what her dad had packed. Not that it mattered that much anyway, she didn’t have much of anything that she really prized in her life. She pulled out several basic items, but when she got to the bottom of the bag, she found an envelope with her name written on front in her dad’s handwriting. Taking it, she ripped it open, reading the neat writing inside.

Dear Jackie, it read

I am sorry to be separated from you, but they told me you could not come back under my supervision. I am also sorry you would not allow me to visit you in jail, but I hope you will be happy in your new home. Please remember that I love you and am always praying for you.

You father.

Jackie scowled, how could her dad love her? The heart mistress had already told her that she was heartless, unlovable. It wouldn’t matter even if she had been lovable, she couldn’t love in return. Jackie threw the letter back in the bag, and got back onto her settling in. Hoping to be able to go out and do something when she was done.

Somehow though, Jackie never felt like leaving the apartment. She would go to the door to Mrs. Frank’s home and feel the urge to go out, then a voice would come inside of her, screaming that she could not do it. Who knew who she would hurt this time? She couldn’t go out and risk hurting another life. So Jackie stay, secluded, angry, and bitter. She spent most of her evenings pacing around the suite, and soon wore a path in her carpet.

One day, while Jackie was pacing, there came a knock on the door. She went over and jerked the door open; mad at whoever it was for disturbing her thinking. But all the anger melted away to surprise as she saw that it was her dad standing there.

“Dad! What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you, I was worried about you.” He said, his tone warmer than anything she had heard in months.

“Well, come on in.” She said gruffly, and plopped down on the couch.

He sat down on the couch next to her, and there simply stared at her with a look of compassion in her eyes that Jackie had never known before.

“What is it? Why are you staring at me?” Jackie cried.

“Because I love you, Jackie. Is something the matter?”

“Are you kidding? I killed someone and am stuck in this dinky little room and you’re asking me if somethings the matter? I’d say so! I’m heartless!”

“Heartless?” Mr. Groff echoed, surprised.

“Yes, I am. The heart mistress told me.” Jackie scowled at her hands, somehow ashamed to admit it to her dad.

“I see.” He said thoughtfully “How are things going around here?”

“Fine, I don’t leave much.” Jackie wasn’t quite sure why she told this to her dad.

“Why?”

“I guess I’m afraid that I’ll hurt someone.”

There was a long silence, then her dad finally spoke up. “Jackie, you are not heartless.”

Jackie jerked up her head to look at her dad, “But dad, the Heart Mistress told me. I’m heartless. Just look at what I’ve done, you’ll see it’s true.”

“Jackie, if you were truly heartless, you wouldn’t be worried about hurting people.” Her dad said “You may be hard towards the love that is being offered you, but you have a heart that has some love left in it and wants to be loved.”

“No one would want to love me.” Jackie whispered.

“That’s not true, Jackie. I love you, and more importantly, Christ loves you. You were given a second chance at life by the judge by allowing you to get out of jail early. Christ gave you a second chance by offering to free you from sin and give you eternal life. He already loves you and wants you to love him in return.”

“Why?” Jackie queried.

“Because he created you, and you are special to him. There is nothing more precious to Christ then his creations. No matter what you have done, he loves you.”

“I couldn’t love him, I’m heartless.”

“No Jackie, God controls you heart, not the Heart Mistress. It belongs to him, and nothing can get rid of it. He holds you heart in his hands and he wants to keep it safe for you. All you have to do is ask him.”

“Would you ask for me?” Jackie whispered.

And so Mr. Groff prayed with his daughter and at the bottom of her backpack, unknown to Jackie, was a bright red heart, full to the brim. Jackie gave a simple amen at the end of the prayer, and that day her heart was alive again.

As soon as Jackie got out of the apartment, she moved back in with her dad. From the day her dad had said that simple prayer, Jackie was a changed girl. She made mistakes, but her dad helped her through the trials and for the first time since we first met Jackie, she was truly happy.

Filled to the brim with love from Christ, it overflowed onto every part of her being, and making it come to life.

Jackie’s heart sung with love, for she was no longer heartless.

Loved and loving in return, my life has taken quite a turn, now that I’m loving.

I never knew such joy such thrill I feel I never can be still, now that I’m loving. Loving!

Mean and cruel is in the past I have a joy that will always last, now that I’m loving.

I now where perfect love began; a cross, a grave and just one man. I now know him, yes its true, he’s done more from me than anyone I knew. He’s filled me up with joy and peace, I know his love will never cease. I used to be so mean and cruel, but now I never want to break a rule, now that I’m loving.

Loved and loving in return, my life has taken quite a turn, now that I’m loving.

The End

Please comment below with your thoughts!!

Writing Wednesday #21

Story: Heartless

In November, I wrote quite a few stories. One was a short story called Heartless and I'll be sharing it half today and half on the 20'th. 

This story is very different then anything I have ever written before. You'll probably figure that out when you start reading.

Heartless Part One

By Mikayla H

Inspired by Beauty and The Beast and driven by Christs message of forgiveness; Heartless is dedicated to a girl who has yet to know this forgiveness. With this story I offer up a prayer that you may know him and his amazing gift of love.

There was nothing more annoying to seventeen year old Jackie Groff then the stern faced man who stood in front of her. It did not matter to her that he was her father, it only mattered to Jackie that he could harp on her wrongdoings like no one else she knew.

“I’ve told you at least a dozen times, Jackie, you cannot break my rules so flippantly.”

“Whatever,” She groaned, twirling a piece of her auburn hair around her fingers.

“If you’re not careful,” His tone was threatening “the Heart Mistress will be out here to speak to you about your behavior.”

“The Heart Mistress!” Jackie laughed “Dad, only you old people could believe in something so silly. No one has ever been able to prove she exists and I’m afraid you can’t use that fairytale as an excuse to make me obey.”

“It’s not a fairytale, she is real.” He said sternly.

“Whatever dad. Are we done with this interrogation? I’ve got things to do.”

“I’m warning you, young lady, you won’t be joking about the Heart Mistresses for long if you keep up with behavior.”

Jackie rolled her eyes and stomped back up to her room. Why did her dad have to be constantly on her case about such stupid stuff? And then there was his incessant believe in the Heart Mistress. Ha! As if there even was such a thing. Jackie was of a new generation, she knew better than her dad about such things. The only thing real about the Mistresses was that they were used as tactics to get little kids to behave. But it wouldn’t work on her, no way. She knew better then to submit to a fairytale. She’d keep on doing what she wanted; she was in no threat of being payed a visit by the Heart Mistresses.

Flinging her leather jacket off, Jackie went up to her computer. The little stand set up to project a little hologram of her screen had been nailed down to prevent her taking it with her. Jackie scowled at the nails. That was her dad; always making sure she couldn’t do things she wanted. Just because he was ‘afraid she’d do something she’d regret’ he had kept her from being able to take it with her. How much trouble could she get into anyway? The wireless at home annoyed her, it had a lot of sites restricted. Her dad probably didn’t know that she just hopped on her friends computers while at their houses. Well, when they would let her. In this day and age teenagers were really protective of their online privacy. Jackie wished she had some to protect but she knew that everything she did, her dad saw.

Clicking open her inbox, Jackie clicked open a message from one of her closest friends, Brice.

We’re going out tonight. Meet us at the corner at twenty-one hundred.

Jackie smiled, now there was something to really spend her night on. Instead of being cooped up in her room all night she could go and have some fun. Flicking off her computer again, she dimmed the lights by voice activation. Looking around, she made sure she hadn’t missed anything she’d need. She didn’t normally need anything for these nights with the gang. They usually just hung out in someone’s house, playing games.

Her door slid up at the press of a button and Jackie walked out and right into her Dad.  

“Just where do you think you’re going?” He asked, crossing his arms.

“Out, dad, I’ll be back later.” Jackie shrugged, maneuvering to get around him but he stuck out his arm, pushing her back.

“No you aren’t.” He said.

“Oh come on, dad, I’ve got things to do. Let me go.” Jackie growled, attempting once again to push by, but not succeeding.

“No. For once you’re going to obey me and stay home.” He looked down at her sternly “You’re living in my house and while you are you have to obey my rules, and one of them is no going out past twenty-hundred.”

“Enough with your stupid rules, I wouldn’t even be living here if it wasn’t illegal to live on your own before eighteen. You’ve only got me here for another year.” She scowled.

“Jackie, can’t you see that I’m trying to do what is best for you? I don’t want you ruining your life. I want you to be happy.”

“If you wanted me to be happy, then why won’t you let me do what I want? Leave me alone, dad.” She cried, jerking away from his touch.

“Believe me, it may look good now to run around with these people, but they’re going to hurt you in the end. They’ll destroy what little true happiness you have left by getting you to do things you’ll regret.”

“Happiness? Do you think I have any real happiness in this place, Dad? Locked away from the world by you, only going out when I can sneak out, with restrictions on everything that I do.” She screamed.

“I do not have restrictions on everything.”

“Really? What don’t you restrict? You’ve got everything; my computer, where I go, who I see, how I dress, what is there left?” Jackie crossed her arms, waiting for a response.

But no response came. Her dad only sat there, silent. Jackie’s eyes narrowed as she saw one tear slid down his cheek.

“Whatever dad; just let me go.” Jackie sneered.

“No.” He said firmly. He took her arm gently, but firmly and led her back to her room. Jackie’s mouth hung open as she watched him close her door and heard the voice command for it to be locked.

“You can’t do this to me!” Jackie cried, going up to the door and pushing her button. It beeped, but didn’t open. He had locked it from the outside. “You think this will help dad!” She screamed, pounding on the door “Restricting my movements to inside me room. You’re horrible!”

She continued screaming threats, thinking it would get him to open the door, but after ten minutes she realized she wasn’t getting anywhere. Fuming, she gave the door one final kick and turned around. The only window in her room was high up and too small to get out of. Still, Jackie climbed on top of her metal framed bed and hit the glass, hoping to shatter it, but it held firm. Pacing like a caged lion, Jackie tried to think of anything to get out. Brice came to mind so she rushed to her computer, thinking she could message him to come over and break her out but when she turned on her computer it said the internet was out. It was probably her dad. Jackie slammed her fist down on her desk, he hadn’t left anything unattended to.  After pacing for a while more, Jackie realized that she really didn’t know what there was to do in her room. She had spent as little time in it as she possibly could in the past three years. There was always a more exciting place to go. She wished she had been allowed to move out early, like some of her friends had, but that required parental consent and her dad wouldn’t give it. She couldn’t understand why he couldn’t be like her other friend’s parents. Brice’s parents had practically begged him to move out, giving him consent and even paying part of his rent for the first year. Why she had to be saddled with the strictest dad in the city she did not know.

“You really are determined to break all your ties aren’t you.” 

Jackie screamed at the woman’s voice behind her. She whirled around and there stood a woman in a flaming red dress, her hair was the same color, and her eyes were a dull grey, but they stood out very distinctly among the red. 

“How did you get in here?” Jackie cried.  

“I came how I always do.” The lady laughed.

Jackie’s eyes widened, “Who are you?”

“I’m the Heart Mistress, and I’m here to give you a warning.”

Suddenly Jackie relaxed and fell into a fit of laughter “Okay, I get it,” she said between laughs, “my dad got you to scare me into being better.”

“Your dad didn’t send me, Jackie,” The lady said, very seriously.

“Alright, I’ll play along; what is it you want to tell me?” Jackie said, still laughing.

“You, Jackie Groff, are headed for a miserable future unless you turn your life around.” 

Jackie was about to laugh again, but the lady stared straight at her and her eyes seemed to be repeating the warning and suddenly she could not laugh. 

“You are headed for unspeakable evil, and something that will make this place that will be the past look like a perfect fairytale. If you continue to go on the path you are on, you will not even be able to speak a kind word again.”

As Jackie stared into the lady’s eyes, she seemed to see the horror the Heart Mistress spoke of. It was vague, but horrifying none the less.

“You must turn your act around, or you will be set in your heartless way before your eighteenth year.”

“Heartless?” Jackie echoed in an awed voice.

“Heartless,” The lady reaffirmed “void of joy and love, never to be able to grasp them again. Once you are heartless there will be no going back. You will never be able to get your heart back. There will be no hope for you, but there will be pain; unimaginable pain and torture. You will be void of the good and left with the bad. Remember.”

Jackie gasped as the Heart Mistress disappeared; vanishing into midair. For a moment, Jackie thought perhaps it had all been a terrible dream, but then she looked on the floor and there sat a little red heart. She bent down and touched it timidly, almost thinking it was part of the dream, but it was real. It filled her palm and radiated warmth onto it. Gasping, Jackie stared at it.

The reality of the whole incident seemed impressed on her all at once. Flinging herself onto her bed, Jackie sobbed as if the world was over, but still clung to the heart. Jackie was accustomed to giving threats, not receiving them and this one had shaken her. 

After all her tears were spent, Jackie fell to pacing again, as it was where she got the most thinking done. At first she was dealing with self-pity that anyone would hold her happiness over her head for such a stupid thing as breaking the rules. Then she switched to anger over the same problem, plotting in her head how to find the Heart Mistress and exact her revenge on her. Then, when the walls had heard threats worse than anything that should be spoken aloud, Jackie finally calmed down a bit. Now having spent all her mental and physical energy on anger by both having too many violent emotions, and punctuating her threats with wild jabs at the air, Jackie laid down on her bed and stared at the metal ceiling. Now that she had gotten through all the angry emotions, she began to really think logically about the issue. She rebelled with almost every fiber of her being to complying with someone’s wishes to try to make her better but there was still a piece of her heart and it wanted to be good. With a new battle to fight, Jackie fell asleep determined to do better, and not be victim of the Heart Mistress if she could help it.

The struggle came sooner then she had imagined; for at six in the morning her alarm went off, informing her that it was time to get up and start a new day. Her first reaction was to slam the alarm with her pillow, just as she had done for three years now. But what the heart mistress had told her came to her mind; and her pillow stopped mid slam. She tossed it away, and carefully turned off the alarm. After that she changed into some relatively clean cloths and pushed the button for her door. This time it opened without trouble and Jackie sped downstairs, sailing into the kitchen with the smug look of one that has just done something you would never expect them to do. Mr. Groff had seen that look all too often and it was even more disturbing then outright anger, for you never knew where Jackie was going to strike next. So he wisely remand silent as he fixed his meal and watched Jackie with quick glanced every few moments.

“I'm off to school.” Jackie announced as she finished her meal.

“Now wait just a moment, young lady, we have a few things to discuss before you go off.” He said, crossing his arms.

“What is it now, daddy?” the irritated question escaped Jackie before she could stop it.

“First off: No going anywhere else then school and you'll come right now, understand?”

“Yeah, I get it.” Jackie forced herself not to roll her eyes.

“Also, no borrowing anyone’s computer, and I don't want you speaking to Brice.”

“What!” Jackie cried, “You have got to be kidding me! Brice is my friend, I am not about to ignore him.”

“You’re not even in the same classes, it should be easy enough for you to stay away from him. Understood? I don't want you talking to him.”

Jackie took a deep breath, this was harder then she had imagined, “Yeah, I get it.”

But as she walked out the door, Jackie sneered at her dads back and up in her bedroom, forgotten entirely and shoved under her bed, was a bright red heart and a tiny piece of the heart fell to the ground and turned to dust.

The second half will be posted on the 20'th. 

Please comment below with your thoughts!