Saturday, December 8, 2018

My Mission

Stressed but blessed 
Under a mountain of work 
Trying to dig myself out 
Trying to find the end 
Somehow forgetting 
That this is my mission 
This is my purpose 
Every little project 
Building into a greater plan 
Sometimes it doesn't 
Feel like that 
But I have to remember 
That I don't look at things 
The way God does 
And every little project 
Every letter I write
Is building on something 
Bigger then I can see

Sorry this is so late, the internet here has been terrible.

Friday, November 30, 2018

Words Unsaid

I've got to be honest, I have no idea where this poem came from. I was just looking at the sunset and it wouldn't stop repeating in my mind. 

Words unsaid
Questions unasked
Things always wondered
Thoughts not spoken
All of them
Slipping out of reach
Into the fading light 
Of the pink dusk 

Monday, November 26, 2018

NaNoWriMo Excerpt

Hey everyone! I'm a bit buried under NaNo (surprise surprise) so here are some little tidbits from my work in progress! These are unedited, so they're probably messy. =) 

Some names have been changed to protect spoilers. ;) Also, Conner is my main characters (Kate) brother.

The field was filled with screams. So many people hurt. So many people dying. The massacre happening faster then any of us expected. The platform, I was laying out on it. Colby screaming from the other side. Zoe was in front of me, he dad dying. His last breath. In, out, nothing. I couldn't rip my eyes away from him. Dead. So many people dead. I couldn't move. I couldn't help anyway.

Someone was pulling me up. I scrunched up my face. The pain. Everywhere. It was all over me.
They were holding me. I was safe. I felt the beating of their heart against my cheek. I became aware of my own ragged breathing. My face was wet.
I gripped their back and slowly realized I was in my room. It was as dark as the mines. Conner's familiar breathing was over me. He didn't say anything. I didn't care.
I cried into his shoulder. Sobs came up harder than they ever had since the attack. I shivered as I could still feel the dark feeling that was over that field.
Conner held onto me and ever so lightly ran his thumb back and forth over my back.
The phantom pain faded and I took slow breaths into the dark, attempting to calm my racing heart.
I listened to his steady heart, letting it calm my own. We were home. The battlefield was all the way back on earth. I was safe.

My breaths came in ragged breaths as I sank down against the wall. I should go home. I should be with my family. They would help this hollow feeling inside. This sinking feeling that we were never going to be at peace. I took in quick breaths as I watched the medics and security swarm over the area. Was the man I had helped okay? Was anyone okay after this? 
Something twisted in my stomach. Something heavier than when earth had attacked us. That had been people who didn't know us. Who didn't care. But we had just attacked ourselves. Sideners, Kelarians, we were all the same, no matter how much hatred ran in our veins. 
I hugged my knees to me, everything beginning to feel numb. I was alone. So alone. 
The wind started up, pushing my hair back from my face and sending ash right into me. 
I coughed into my arm, squeezing my eyes shut as they burned from the ash. 
I had to get away. Stumbling to my feet I pushed away from the wall and hurried forward. Ignoring all pain, I squeezed through the people coming and going. I had to get away. 

A special thank you to my real life Kate for helping me decide what to post tonight and making the process more fun. <3

Friday, November 23, 2018

Life Moves On

(Honestly, I wrote this weeks ago, and this isn't how I feel right now, but I am brain dead from NaNo and have nothing else to post.)

Life moves on 
Even after heartache 
After countless apologies 
And tears that burned 
The tears go away 
And the ache fades 
People forget 
But today it feels like forever 
Like it will never pass 
The pain is still fresh 
While waiting until 
Life moves on

Monday, November 19, 2018

Five Minutes to Spare

I was sitting at Whataburger (Best burgers in the world. Only in Texas), doing NaNo. My sister Grace had to step away for a minute, and so I was typing alone. A man in his late sixty’s leaned over to me from the seat down and asked if I was still in school. When I told him no, he told me that he was retired UPS and that if I was looking for a part-time job, that was the place to go. He proceeded to go on for a long time about what the job looked like, and the hours and benefits. I was a little wary, I mean, I was trying to write, but I didn’t want to upset the man. I can always spare a few minutes. 
The man got a call a minute later. I only heard his part of the conversation, but he was talking to his wife who was in the hospital. He promised to come to see her just as soon as the hospitals visiting hours opened up. 
I don’t know if the man just likes telling people about UPS, or if he needed someone to talk to, but I am so glad I was sitting there. Five minutes was all that guy needed. He needed someone to listen and I am so glad (as a package enthusiast) I was sitting next to him.

Friday, November 16, 2018

September and October Highlights

Somehow I missed two months worth of highlights. *Crickets* yeah, so this is super late, but if you want a really condensed version of what happened in my September and October, here it is.


My sister and I babysat some really awesome kids and we made toy parachutes for them out of kleenex, sting, and lego people. It was a blast!

My mom, sister,  and I spent a few days with my aunt who was having surgery. It went really well, and on the way home, my three other sisters met us at the zoo. It started pouring rain on us, but we had a blast walking in the zoo, getting dripping wet. ;D

I drove in rain so bad that you couldn't see the lines on the road. That kind of freaked me out. Also, one day I drove so terribly that by the time I arrived at our destination I was in tears. I called my best friend, and she made things better. <3

We had a hot dog and s'mores roast. It was just our family, sitting around a fire, and seriously, we had so. much. fun!

We got our puppy, Ascari. He's an adorable handful. ;)

One night, the stars were bright enough that we could see the Milky Way. That isn't super uncommon, but it is always a treat.


Some of my family and I took the month off movies and computer games. It was refreshing.

My computer came!! I could not be more pleased with my computer. *grin*

I celebrated 11 years of knowing God!!! =D

My siblings and I had a retreat. It was the best weekend I've had in a long time. We did madlibs, played tons of board games, stayed up late talking, took tons of goofy photos, ate to much pizza, and did an escape room. Seriously, I wasn't sure what I was going to think of an escape room since I don't really love puzzles, but it was great, and we got out with 16 seconds to spare! The whole weekend was amazing!!

One of the kids I babysit saw me putting on my chapstick and just looked at me very seriously and told me (In three-year-old lisp) to make sure and buy more. And to make sure and wear my jacket on the way out because it was cold. I just about melted.

I voted for the first time. =D

I got the meet Gray Marie from Writing is Life. Seriously, her blog is awesome. If you haven't checked out her blog, you should, it's awesome, and she is amazing.

Beta read "Live Without You" by Sarah Grace. I'm really excited because it's coming out in January!

September                                                                  October 

My favorite from September was The Coronation and Kates Conundrum.
From October, Live Without You.

16 Expressions Writing is Life
Sweet Dreams Dancing in the Rain
Let There be Light A Purpose and a Promise

A Daily Reminder: Its all Him Lauren Elizabeth 
House Sitting and a Book Fair Stories by Firefly
Writers: How to Engage the Five Senses Adventure Awaits

What No One Told Me About Writing || Farris's Birthday The Left-Handed Typest 

So there you are. Two months worth of updates!

Friday, November 9, 2018

Hot Button Convitions

I am friends with a lot of conservative Christians (mainly because I am one myself), and there is one thing that never fails to start an argument. It's one tiny little word, but if you drop it in the right circle, you could be looking at hours of debating. What's the word? Courtship.

This debate has been around longer then I have been alive. Christians everywhere have super strong opinions about courtship vs dating.

People fight about what is right until they're blue in the face. But you know what most of it boils down to? Trying to make everyone else believe what they believe.

We have this belief that we need people to agree with us. Some of that is out of concern for their future choices, but most of it is because we just can't believe we would be wrong.

You want to hear something comforting? You're not wrong. Whether you believe in courtship or dating you. are. not. wrong. If you have made your decision out of conviction of the Holy Spirit, then you're not wrong. Of course, I can't say that it will for sure be a good experience, but all it boils down to is what you feel convicted of.

I chose courtship, my best friend chose to date, both because we felt led by the Holy Spirit. (Though neither of us has yet to actually use our choice).

So courtship is a hot-button word right now. But why are we worried about other peoples convictions when we should be focusing on our own hearts?

I do not always agree with my friend's choices. I wouldn't make them myself. But I am praying God would give me grace that I might accept that He doesn't always call us to the same things.

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Undeserved Blessing

Me and Sarah at the zoo
Sarah holding a friends baby
Rebekkah, Sarah and I with squirl monkeys at the zoo

Sarah and I 
If I was forced to describe Sarah in one sentence I would be hard pressed to find the right words to encompass her personality. She's a giver: always giving her all to God, her family, and her passions.
Sometimes I am just struck by how amazingly blessed I am to have Sarah as my sister. We all need someone who will be by our side like her, unafraid to correct, but always ready to applaud. 
God could have given me any kind of sister, but He chose to give me one who stays up till midnight talking with me, who makes time for me when she really doesn't have it. Who will share her life with me, and listen to me ramble for hours. 

Recently Sarah took me to the zoo, and we had a blast, enjoying the two-hour trip there, the animals, and just hanging together. It wasn't a day that will go down in history as the best zoo visit ever, but it was amazing to me. And its a treasured memory of time I got to spend with my sister. 

Look for people in your life who will give up what they want for you. 

Somehow I just felt the need to share this with y'all. Drop me a note below about someone special in your life, and how they've blessed you! 

Today was supposed to be my October and September Highlights, but due to NaNo, you get this until next week.
Also, I have been asked repeatedly while wearing these shirts if I have been to NASA. The answer is no, I just am a big NASA fan, and so I got the t-shirt. ;D

Friday, November 2, 2018

It Feels Like You Have Forever

I said goodbye to some friends recently that I knew I might not see again.

It feels like you have forever 
Until you don't 
It feels like they will always be there 
Until they're not 
Trying to cram a lifetime of memories 
Into one week 
Trying to get hours of conversations 
In one visit 
Pretending you're heart isn't breaking 
When it is 
Pretending you'll see each other soon 
When you won't 
Pushing away the tears that threaten 
Until you're alone 
Pushing away the thought of tomorrow 
Until it's here 
Attempting to smile through the pain 
Striving for hope 
Attempting to say a goodbye that lasts 
Striving for a memory
Hoping you are remembered 
After they leave 
Hoping you get to see them again 
After they're gone 

Monday, October 29, 2018

Fall, Pumpkins, and Voting

Yes, I know I'm missing a comma. I'm too lazy to fix it. ;)

Sarah, Rebekkah, and me!

Me at the pumkin patch

Fun events of late:

On Friday I got to vote for the first time. The lady's at the polling place were so excited to have a first-time voter. They had the whole place clap for me. ;D It was kind of funny having someone spend five minutes explaining how the machine worked and only spending a minute voting. ;D It was surprisingly underwhelming, but I enjoyed getting to do it. 

Afterward, my sister took me to a pumpkin patch and we just spent a lot of time taking pictures and picking out the perfect pumpkin. Actually, the one I have in the picture above is not the one I ended up buying because I wanted a smaller one for my desk. It was so fun to go around the churchyard in the evening light, trying to find the most perfect pumpkin. 

That night, when my sister and I were leaving our Bible study, we came over a hill and the moon was rising the biggest I've ever seen it. It looked GINORMOUS. Talking all the way home in the moonlite car was amazing. 

Sometimes, God just sends you reasons to smile. =) 

What has your week been like so far? 

Friday, October 26, 2018

My Life Doesn't Go Like I Want

My life rarely works the way I want it to. I've got some magical idea on how I want my life to go, and only once in a blue moon does it actually go that way. 

This post was going to be excerpts from my book, but Word won't let me into my documents because I need to buy the full version of the product to even copy things out of it. 

Today my phone froze three times while I was trying to work on it. Any time I get on the WiFi it freezes, so I know I shouldn't get on the WiFi on it, but I do anyway. 

My sister and I did clay masks together for fun and both ended up with our faces red from a bad reaction to it. 

None of these things went how I planned them. But God's been showing me things, sometimes after things happen. 

My frustration with Word keeps reminding me that good things are not always free, and I can't just expect life to be handed to me on a silver platter. 

My phone freezing it reminding me to put it down and be where I am. I am so prone to ignore this lesson though, and just keep getting frustrated. 

The clay masks, well that just gave my sister and me a good chance to laugh as our cheeks very quickly returned to their normal color. It was good to laugh at myself like that. 

So yeah, my life doesn't go the way I plan, and I am grateful for it. Everything I come to is a chance to grow. While I know I have passed up countless opportunities to grown (with the phone, mainly), I'm grateful God gives me so many chances to grown in Him. 

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Photos of Ascari

This is the second day we got him. He loved pouncing flowers.

I keep catching peoples shoes in these shots because Ascari loves to keep up and sit on peoples feet. 

Ears perked, waiting for a pet. 

Mimicking Luke's posture.

In case you missed it, my family got a puppy. His name is Ascari (Uh-scar-e) and he's an Australian Shepard Lab mix. I've got a couple more hundred more photos I could post, but I didn't want to bore you, so I picked my top five. 

Ascari is a very high energy puppy who would spend all his days chewing on things if he didn't also want to chase the cats. He's always ready to bound into our lap, or sit down on our feet. He loves mimicking Luke (Our full grown dog), and playing tug-of-war. If you leave a styrofoam cup out, it will be confetti in an hour, and if you tell him to sit he'll do so and perk his ears forward while he waits for pets. He's already hyperactive about barking at things and hates leashes with a vengeance. He keeps wearing Luke out, and then they'll curl up together and take a nap. 

Overall, it's a lot more work to have a puppy then I remembered, but it's fun. Asacri is learning fast, and despite having to save my cats from his playfulness, it's been good. 

What do y'all think? 

Friday, October 19, 2018

We're All Messy Here

We keep talking about "Perfect people" 
We keep wishing we were one of them 
We talk about how great their lives are

Well I'm here to tell you I found a place
Where we all belong. 
I found a home 
For all of us messy people 

It's called Planet Earth 

There's nothing new about it 
We're all messy here 

So that wasn't my poetic poem, but I felt like it was a good opener. 

I rarely feel like the only messy person, but I do view some people as "perfect." Now I use perfect in a loose term, but that's still how my brain feels about them. I have this idea that there are people out there who have some kind of magical life. Silly? Yes, I know. 

This week I was faced with just how messy I am. I have ignored some important things. I've been easily annoyed. I've let myself get frustrated. I've gotten jealous of silly things. 

I took a walk I was SO frustrated with everything, and I just asked God why I am such a messy person. And I heard a gentle whisper of "Everyone else is messy too, Mikayla. And all that messiness is to draw you closer to me." 

Well, that put some things into perspective. 

We're all messy here, and instead of getting mad at ourselves for being messy, we need to give it to God. I have found such peace and joy these past few days by just remembering that God didn't expect me to handle this by myself. Messiness is just another to make me realize how much I need Him.

What's something you've been learning lately?

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

A Messy Blogger's Update

I've tried to write this post three times today. For some reason, I am having trouble with my words this week. 
I'll be honest, it's been crazy. I have dealt with more roller coaster emotional moments this week then I have in a little bit. Trying to figure out how to balance my emotions and figure out how to get work done around stuff has been rough. I would love to sit here and tell y'all that I had this all perfectly together (I'd like to be able to tell that to myself) but we're all messy people here, so I don't think y'all mind. 
So some interesting things have happened that I haven't gotten the chance to talk about so I'm going to tackle some of those happier subjects first. 

1. I got a laptop. Up until now, I have been working on my moms and brothers laptops, and it worked out really well. But, I finally saved up enough and I got myself a refurbished HP Pavilion which is was so much better then I expected. I went a little above what I had wanted to pay for it, but that's because I found one with way better graphics than most and literally everything I had ever wanted in a computer. So yeah, I'm really loving it. My only problem is I haven't gotten Microsoft Word yet, which I use all the time. So yeah, I've got to get that ASAP. 

2. And probably what is going to be most peoples favorite (I don't blame you if it is): My family got a puppy. We've been looking into getting another dog because my awesome Luke is getting a little older and we want him to train our puppy. So we found an Australian Shepard puppy online and went and picked him up. We named him Ascari (Uh-scar-e). He's already been picking up a lot of Luke's behavior, which is so fun to watch. =D I'll do another post about him with a lot more pictures, I promise. 

Here's a rather goofy photo of Ascari who has a love of plopping down on peoples feet.

So yeah, that's a couple fun things in life lately. I don't want to ramble much longer, but I did have one more thing to add. I pray that I have never come across as saying I have a perfect life. But if I have, I'd like to take a moment and apologize. I have recently been faced with how rough it can be when someone is posting about only the good things in their life. We all know everyone is flawed, but it's hard to tell when they're only posting the good stuff about their life. 
I am a deeply messy blogger who has more problems then I care to count, the one I'm pushing up against the most right now is a bad attitude. 

I'll be posting more on what I've been learning this week on Friday, and hopefully next Monday I'll have some awesome puppy photos up for y'all.