Your Innocent Smile

(This photo of me, but the poem is not about me, just to be clear)

This is a piece of non rhyming poetry I wrote for someone very dear to me. I never intended to share it when I wrote it, but last night I felt God telling me that this was something someone needed to hear, so here it is.

Your innocent smile breaks my heart 

You didn’t know what was coming

That only a year after that photo

Tears seem to come more than the smile 

And your heart seems so broken 

When it used to be so full

I wish you could have held onto that innocence

Because this thing called reality has wrecked you

No one knows if you will ever be whole again

But we all know that you’re hurting now

And we all wish we could do something

But the decision is really up to you 

You decide what you do, and we will help

You’re the one in charge.

Perhaps someday you will be able to go back to being whole

But once you’ve lost your innocence, it’s gone for good

And you will never be who you once were

And will never look at life the same way

I cry for you, having lost so much

Because I’m grieving the loss of who you used to be

But, please fight another day

Become this new you

Because you have great things ahead of you 

And you will learn to smile more than cry soon

My Room, Remodeled

Hello everyone! I hope your day is going as well as mine is! Okay, so last week I told y'all I was remodeling my room. It took us from the 18'th to the 25'th to finish up everything, but its finally done! We took the popcorn off the ceiling and painted it. We put new floors down, and touched up the paint on the walls. It was hard work, but was fun nonetheless. I could tell you long sob stories about how scraping the ceiling hurt my arms, or how I cut my foot (its not that bad, don't worry) or how I had to wait to finish an amazing book until after the remodeling. Or I could tell you of how my family heroically gave up the living room to store all our stuff while we worked, or how my mom and sister got bruises putting in our new floor, or how my sister sacrificially gave up her desk, and exchanged it for a smaller sewing table. But, I don't have to tell everything in detail. ;P

If you would like to see how my room used to look, why don't you hop over to THIS POST on a blog I do with seven other amazing girls. Once you've looked at that, so you can see the difference, let's dive in!

The entrance: 

As you can see, we moved a bookcase behind the door.

And now *Drumroll* The room! 

This is the view looking from our window seat. 

(The bookself is Rebekkahs books)

And then tilting the camera up so you can see the shelf above our closet.

Behind the door: 

Vintage and inspiration area. 

Our window seat.

The big white desk is mine. The sewing table is Rebekah's (My sister whom I share the room with).

(and, if you look at the ground under my desk is my new rug. I really love that thing)

My books and Rebekah's candy jar collection, and horses.

There you go, and look at our newly remodeled room. What do you think? 

A Good Soldier of Christ Jesus

I was flipping through my bible this morning, not really sure what I was looking for, but sure I was going to find it. And I did. I found 2 Timothy 2:4-7

Botanical Garden Photos

Would you like to have a nice, in depth post on my life lately? I would. But my week has been hijacked. We decided this was the perfect time to touch up the paint in my room, take down the popcorn on the ceiling, and put down new floorboards. So, at the moment I am ready to fall asleep in my paint covered clothes, but my room is strewn out all over the house. I'll show you lots of photos of that next week, but for right now, I've got to get back to work. 

Here are some photos from the botanical gardens in Fort Worth. I know there are a lot of photos, but I had a really hard time narrowing them down.

The Me You Want Me To Be

I wrote this on Tuesday. I thought maybe y'all might like it, so here it is.

I want to be the person you made me to be

Not this self-invented fake I’ve made of me 

I build the fake in every way

I build it with every lie I say

And how I try to make them think I’m alright

And that I’m not losing a fight

I try to hid the brokenness inside

And all the hurt and pride

I try to make the outside of me clean

And make it presentable to be seen

It’s the best scheme I can contrive

Because it seems like I have to do that to survive

There’s too much hurt to face all the pain

It hurts so bad I think its driving me insane

Because sometimes I forget

That you’re not finished with me yet

You don’t care if I am a mess

You don’t mind all the stress

You don’t mind if I look a sight

Or if I harbor a lot of fright

Because you’re willing to start working with me now

To show me how to me healed and how,

To be cleaned from the inside out

To get rid of all the doubt

Because you never made me to be broken

You meant me to be whole sense before my first word was spoken

You want to clean all the pain from me

And make me the me you want me to be

And I must admit I want it to

If only to see what you will do

Because I know you have a plan that is great,

And it is definitely worth the wait.

A writer tag, and a book tag.

#114

I was tagged for the The Ultimate Writer's Tag by Allie over at Spreading My Joy!

Rules

1. Link back to the writer who tagged you.

2. Answer all of the questions, including the "Ultimate Writer Question".

3. Make up your own "Ultimate Writer Question".

4. Tag as many writers as you'd like.

5. HAVE FUN AND BE NICE.

(Just a note, all these photos are from our vacation to Dallas.)

Allies questions:

1. When did you start writing?

I started writing when I was ten. I don’t know the precise date, but it was probably later 2009, or early 2010. 

2. What are the best things (pros) about writing?

Getting to escape and getting to ‘know’ characters. I use writing as an escape from a lot of the irritations of my daily life. I find it very therapeutic to, when things are getting hectic, write about someone else. Also, I really don’t mean to boast, but I love my characters. Yeah, maybe they are the most well-rounded characters, and maybe they aren’t all perfectly realistic, but their perfect for me. 

3. What are the worst things (cons) about writing?

I think the worst thing is when you have a thousand story’s running through your head and you can’t write them all, so you feel trapped in them. Also, writing things you know some people will hate.

4. What is your favorite thing to write? (Novels, stories, poems, etc.)

I love to write Novellas! Almost all of my stories range from 10,000 words to 25,000 words. I would someday like to write longer books, but I’m going to have to work up to that. I also really love poetry. 

5. What is your favorite genre of writing?

Contemporary fiction. But I also like non-magical fantasy. 

6. What are your favorite writing resources?

NaNoWriMo, WordHippo (a poets best friend), also BibleHub, for looking up verses. 

7. Do you like writing in guy’s POV or girl’s POV?

Girls! I have written two books from third person following guys, and I liked it alright, but I hate having to constantly go “Is this something a guy would really do/say?” Girls are much easier for me. 

8. What is your favorite music to listen to while writing?

It depends on the book. When writing most of my books, I normally just listen to things from Two Steps From Hell, which is a very good instrumental band (Despite the name.) But when I am writing my modern books, I love to listen to TobyMac, and similar artists. It helps me get in the zone. 

9. What are your favorite writing snacks?

Sweet iced tea and sometimes Skittles. I don’t really like eating much while writing, because I don’t want to get the keyboard messy!

10. What is your favorite place to write?

Out on the dining room table when I’m using a laptop. But when I’m writing on my Alpha Smart, I love writing outside. 

11. What is your favorite time to write? At what time do you write the best?

I like to write around 7:00-10:00. It’s quieter in our house by then, and I can focus more on my writing. I think the two times I write are then, and 2:00-4:00.  

12. What are your favorite famous authors/writers?

Well I guess my favorite famous author is Jane Austen. But most of my real favorite authors are littler known homeschool authors. 

13. What/who inspires you to keep writing?

My sister Rebekkah, mainly. Also, Lauren, Sarah Holman, Jessica, and a ton of my dear fellow authors who encourage me every day without knowing it. I find it incredible and inspiring to watch teenage writers pursue their dreams of writing. It makes me realize that I need to keep working to.

14. How do you find inspiration?  Where do you find inspiration?

I would say that you don’t find inspiration, inspiration finds you. Sometimes you have to seek it out, but rarely. I find a lot of inspiration from my friends and bloggers. I find it super amazing to think of all the stories people have to tell about their life. I also find a lot of inspiration from books, movies and songs. Often times a line will just jump out at me and I build a whole story about it. I once wrote a 25,000 word book from one line in a TV show. I also find some inspiration on Pintrest, though not as much as I used to. I have a whole story that almost every character is inspired just from a picture I found. 

15. Who are your writing buddies?

Micaiah is one probably my main writing buddy. Also, Sarah Holman. But I don’t really have many writing buddies. 

ULTIMATE WRITER QUESTION: What is your best advice for editing your novels or stories?

Keep at it. Even if you can only spend five minutes one day, just do that! It may not be the progress you had hoped for, but it will be something! 

I tag Micaiah. (Sorry I can't do more.)

And I was tagged for Would You Rather (Book Tag Edition) by Micaiah over at Adventures Beyond the Horizon. 

#1 Would you rather read only trilogies or stand-alones?

Trilogies. I like seeing characters change, and series normally give time for that. But I like stand-alones. 

#2 Would you rather read only male or female authors?

Female. I tend to enjoy books written by girls better, especially romances. Though I’ve read some really great books written by guys.

#3 Would you rather shop at Barnes and Noble or Amazon?

100% Amazon. I have been to a Branes and Noble once in my life and I couldn’t afford anything there then, and I still can’t today. I don’t mind used books at all, and I can find pretty much everything cheaper on Amazon. 

#4 Would you rather have books become T.V. shows or movies?

Movies. When they make them into TV shows they tend to add to much to the story. 

#5 Would you rather read five pages a day or five books a week?

Five books a week. I’ve done that before, so it would be a good week for me. 

#6 Would you rather be a professional reviewer or an author?

Author. I don’t write very good reviews, and though I have done some reviews in exchange for books and Beta reading, I would not want that to be my profession.

#7 Would you rather read your top 20 favorite books over and over again, or always read new ones you've never read before?

I would just read my top 20 books over and over. That would make me very happy. I LOVE rereading. But it would kind of make me sad not to have new books every once and awhile.

#8 Would you rather be a librarian or a bookseller?

I think bookseller. Though they both sound like good jobs!

#9 Would you rather read only your favorite genre(s) or anything but your favorite?

Just my favorites. I pretty much do that already.

#10 Would you rather read only physical books or e-books?

I guess physical books. I do love holding books. But I also love my eBooks. Other than the fact that you can’t just flip through it at will, I don’t see too much of a difference. And to be perfectly honest I don’t get most people’s hatred for eBooks.

I tag whoever wants to do this! 

Thank you to Allie and Micaiah for tagging me for these awesome tags! It was a lot of fun!