Well, guys, it's been a long week. I've had a cold with a fever for almost a week now, and I failed at every single goal I made for February. Earlier last week I went through a couple days where God asked me to trust Him with something that I really didn't want to trust Him with. That's been an interesting lesson in trust, and not questioning decisions that have been made.
On Saturday my family went to a wedding, and on Saturday night we buried our dog Ascari who had been run over by a car. It was hard to let go of the little guy, and I miss his presence around the land.
On Sunday I learned that a family friend is not doing very well. Even though they've been in a nursing home for months, it's hard to hear that. It's been a tough week. I miss my dog, and I miss my comfort a lot. It would also be nice to be able to breathe through both sides of my nose, but the cold is keeping that from happening anytime soon.
But as I got to thinking about all of that, I realized just how attached to comfort I was. I hadn't trained with Ascari for two months because it was so cold. I didn't want him to die because it hurt. I didn't want to trust God because that meant discomfort for me. I am so ready to be over my cold, cause I want to be comfortable again.
Living comfortably was never something I was supposed to aim for. I knew that in my heart, but I still aimed for it in my life. This week I've noticed just how much I aim for it in all the things I do. And I don't have any great answers here. I'm just taking this a day at a time, asking God to show me how to focus on serving Him, not myself. I've just acted on instinct more then I care to admit. The call for comfort is strong and it's fighting an upward battle with myself to not give into the selfish wish to always do what I want. But God keeps giving me bits of rest in listening to Bible, in arranging flowers and making plans with friends.
This is a good life, y'all. It's been a long week. A really long week, but Good is good, and He's teaching me through the long days.
Mikayla we hope you are feeling better. Sorry about your dog. Think of the good times you spent together and be comforted by the happy memories.
ReplyDeleteMarilyn and Marion
Thank you! I'll try. <3
Delete-M-
Wow, I'm so sorry about your dog. It sounds like you had a tough week, I'm praying for you! I hope it gets better. <3
ReplyDeleteThank you, Gray. I really aprechiate the prayers! <3
DeleteI'm so encouraged by your ability to remain strong and keep your focus on Him through the tough times! Loved your thoughts on being comfortable. I'm prayerfully considering a decision right now that would take me quite a ways out of my comfort zone—I want to because I believe it's God's next step for me, but I want to make sure it's the right choice.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs through the loss of Ascari. <3
I don't feel very strong most of the time. I'm greatful to God for helping me through everything.
DeleteKnow the feeling, girl. Those are always hard, but so important. I'll be praying for you, that God makes the right decision clear for you. <3
Thank you! <3