Words Unsaid

I've got to be honest, I have no idea where this poem came from. I was just looking at the sunset and it wouldn't stop repeating in my mind. 

Words unsaid

Questions unasked

Things always wondered

Thoughts not spoken

All of them

Slipping out of reach

Into the fading light 

Of the pink dusk 

NaNoWriMo Excerpt

Hey everyone! I'm a bit buried under NaNo (surprise surprise) so here are some little tidbits from my work in progress! These are unedited, so they're probably messy. =) 

Some names have been changed to protect spoilers. ;) Also, Conner is my main characters (Kate) brother.

The field was filled with screams. So many people hurt. So many people dying. The massacre happening faster then any of us expected. The platform, I was laying out on it. Colby screaming from the other side. Zoe was in front of me, he dad dying. His last breath. In, out, nothing. I couldn't rip my eyes away from him. Dead. So many people dead. I couldn't move. I couldn't help anyway.

Someone was pulling me up. I scrunched up my face. The pain. Everywhere. It was all over me.
They were holding me. I was safe. I felt the beating of their heart against my cheek. I became aware of my own ragged breathing. My face was wet.
I gripped their back and slowly realized I was in my room. It was as dark as the mines. Conner's familiar breathing was over me. He didn't say anything. I didn't care.
I cried into his shoulder. Sobs came up harder than they ever had since the attack. I shivered as I could still feel the dark feeling that was over that field.
Conner held onto me and ever so lightly ran his thumb back and forth over my back.
The phantom pain faded and I took slow breaths into the dark, attempting to calm my racing heart.
I listened to his steady heart, letting it calm my own. We were home. The battlefield was all the way back on earth. I was safe.

My breaths came in ragged breaths as I sank down against the wall. I should go home. I should be with my family. They would help this hollow feeling inside. This sinking feeling that we were never going to be at peace. I took in quick breaths as I watched the medics and security swarm over the area. Was the man I had helped okay? Was anyone okay after this? 

Something twisted in my stomach. Something heavier than when earth had attacked us. That had been people who didn't know us. Who didn't care. But we had just attacked ourselves. Sideners, Kelarians, we were all the same, no matter how much hatred ran in our veins. 

I hugged my knees to me, everything beginning to feel numb. I was alone. So alone. 

The wind started up, pushing my hair back from my face and sending ash right into me. 

I coughed into my arm, squeezing my eyes shut as they burned from the ash. 

I had to get away. Stumbling to my feet I pushed away from the wall and hurried forward. Ignoring all pain, I squeezed through the people coming and going. I had to get away. 

A special thank you to my real life Kate for helping me decide what to post tonight and making the process more fun. <3

Life Moves On

(Honestly, I wrote this weeks ago, and this isn't how I feel right now, but I am brain dead from NaNo and have nothing else to post.)

Life moves on 

Even after heartache 

After countless apologies 

And tears that burned 

The tears go away 

And the ache fades 

People forget 

But today it feels like forever 

Like it will never pass 

The pain is still fresh 

While waiting until 

Life moves on

Five Minutes to Spare

I was sitting at Whataburger (Best burgers in the world. Only in Texas), doing NaNo. My sister Grace had to step away for a minute, and so I was typing alone. A man in his late sixty’s leaned over to me from the seat down and asked if I was still in school. When I told him no, he told me that he was retired UPS and that if I was looking for a part-time job, that was the place to go. He proceeded to go on for a long time about what the job looked like, and the hours and benefits. I was a little wary, I mean, I was trying to write, but I didn’t want to upset the man. I can always spare a few minutes. 

The man got a call a minute later. I only heard his part of the conversation, but he was talking to his wife who was in the hospital. He promised to come to see her just as soon as the hospitals visiting hours opened up. 

I don’t know if the man just likes telling people about UPS, or if he needed someone to talk to, but I am so glad I was sitting there. Five minutes was all that guy needed. He needed someone to listen and I am so glad (as a package enthusiast) I was sitting next to him.

September and October Highlights

Somehow I missed two months worth of highlights. *Crickets* yeah, so this is super late, but if you want a really condensed version of what happened in my September and October, here it is.



September 

My sister and I babysat some really awesome kids and we made toy parachutes for them out of kleenex, sting, and lego people. It was a blast!

My mom, sister,  and I spent a few days with my aunt who was having surgery. It went really well, and on the way home, my three other sisters met us at the zoo. It started pouring rain on us, but we had a blast walking in the zoo, getting dripping wet. ;D

I drove in rain so bad that you couldn't see the lines on the road. That kind of freaked me out. Also, one day I drove so terribly that by the time I arrived at our destination I was in tears. I called my best friend, and she made things better. <3





We had a hot dog and s'mores roast. It was just our family, sitting around a fire, and seriously, we had so. much. fun!

We got our puppy, Ascari. He's an adorable handful. ;)

One night, the stars were bright enough that we could see the Milky Way. That isn't super uncommon, but it is always a treat.

October

Some of my family and I took the month off movies and computer games. It was refreshing.

My computer came!! I could not be more pleased with my computer. *grin*

I celebrated 11 years of knowing God!!! =D





My siblings and I had a retreat. It was the best weekend I've had in a long time. We did madlibs, played tons of board games, stayed up late talking, took tons of goofy photos, ate to much pizza, and did an escape room. Seriously, I wasn't sure what I was going to think of an escape room since I don't really love puzzles, but it was great, and we got out with 16 seconds to spare! The whole weekend was amazing!!

One of the kids I babysit saw me putting on my chapstick and just looked at me very seriously and told me (In three-year-old lisp) to make sure and buy more. And to make sure and wear my jacket on the way out because it was cold. I just about melted.

I voted for the first time. =D

I got the meet Gray Marie from Writing is Life. Seriously, her blog is awesome. If you haven't checked out her blog, you should, it's awesome, and she is amazing.

Beta read "Live Without You" by Sarah Grace. I'm really excited because it's coming out in January!



September                                                                  October 

My favorite from September was The Coronation and Kates Conundrum.
From October, Live Without You.

16 Expressions Writing is Life
Sweet Dreams Dancing in the Rain

The Fire of Contentment Apples of Gold

Let There be Light A Purpose and a Promise

A Daily Reminder: Its all Him Lauren Elizabeth 

House Sitting and a Book Fair Stories by Firefly

Writers: How to Engage the Five Senses Adventure Awaits

What No One Told Me About Writing || Farris's Birthday The Left-Handed Typest 

So there you are. Two months worth of updates!

Hot Button Convitions

I am friends with a lot of conservative Christians (mainly because I am one myself), and there is one thing that never fails to start an argument. It's one tiny little word, but if you drop it in the right circle, you could be looking at hours of debating. What's the word? Courtship.

This debate has been around longer then I have been alive. Christians everywhere have super strong opinions about courtship vs dating.

People fight about what is right until they're blue in the face. But you know what most of it boils down to? Trying to make everyone else believe what they believe.

We have this belief that we need people to agree with us. Some of that is out of concern for their future choices, but most of it is because we just can't believe we would be wrong.

You want to hear something comforting? You're not wrong. Whether you believe in courtship or dating you. are. not. wrong. If you have made your decision out of conviction of the Holy Spirit, then you're not wrong. Of course, I can't say that it will for sure be a good experience, but all it boils down to is what you feel convicted of.

I chose courtship, my best friend chose to date, both because we felt led by the Holy Spirit. (Though neither of us has yet to actually use our choice).

So courtship is a hot-button word right now. But why are we worried about other peoples convictions when we should be focusing on our own hearts?

I do not always agree with my friend's choices. I wouldn't make them myself. But I am praying God would give me grace that I might accept that He doesn't always call us to the same things.

Undeserved Blessing

Me and Sarah at the zoo

Sarah holding a friends baby

Rebekkah, Sarah and I with squirl monkeys at the zoo

Sarah and I 

If I was forced to describe Sarah in one sentence I would be hard pressed to find the right words to encompass her personality. She's a giver: always giving her all to God, her family, and her passions.

Sometimes I am just struck by how amazingly blessed I am to have Sarah as my sister. We all need someone who will be by our side like her, unafraid to correct, but always ready to applaud. 

God could have given me any kind of sister, but He chose to give me one who stays up till midnight talking with me, who makes time for me when she really doesn't have it. Who will share her life with me, and listen to me ramble for hours. 

Recently Sarah took me to the zoo, and we had a blast, enjoying the two-hour trip there, the animals, and just hanging together. It wasn't a day that will go down in history as the best zoo visit ever, but it was amazing to me. And its a treasured memory of time I got to spend with my sister. 

Look for people in your life who will give up what they want for you. 

Somehow I just felt the need to share this with y'all. Drop me a note below about someone special in your life, and how they've blessed you! 

Today was supposed to be my October and September Highlights, but due to NaNo, you get this until next week.

Also, I have been asked repeatedly while wearing these shirts if I have been to NASA. The answer is no, I just am a big NASA fan, and so I got the t-shirt. ;D

It Feels Like You Have Forever

I said goodbye to some friends recently that I knew I might not see again.

It feels like you have forever 

Until you don't 

It feels like they will always be there 

Until they're not 

Trying to cram a lifetime of memories 

Into one week 

Trying to get hours of conversations 

In one visit 

Pretending you're heart isn't breaking 

When it is 

Pretending you'll see each other soon 

When you won't 

Pushing away the tears that threaten 

Until you're alone 

Pushing away the thought of tomorrow 

Until it's here 

Attempting to smile through the pain 

Striving for hope 

Attempting to say a goodbye that lasts 

Striving for a memory

Hoping you are remembered 

After they leave 

Hoping you get to see them again 

After they're gone