Sometimes I act like I don't care.
I do it all the time. Something happens that really hurts me and I act like it never bothered me. Now this is great sometimes, but today I have to admit something that really bothers me about my life.
I'm not ahead.
My last Friday post was about we need not to worry when others were ahead of you, because you are right where you need to be.
I wrote that post because I needed to be reminded of it. I tried to be okay with not being as ahead as some people, but it seems like this week has conspired against me so I would notice how far ahead people were.
Today I sat, reading an email from one of my friends, getting more and more upset about what I haven't done in life.
I have never really done a good grammar coarse.
I have not completed Algebra 1 yet, and I'm 15.
I have not traveled outside of the U.S.
I can't recite scripture very well.
I can't play a single instrument.
I can't tell you the name of each state.
I haven't done a lot of things that most people have.
But, you know what? I've done a lot of other thins that I never would have been able to do if I had spent my whole younger childhood doing the above things. And I'm only 15, I can still do them.
I may be behind other people, but I'm not going to let that stop me.
When my friends tell me they are almost done with Algebra, it hurts me, because I wish I had worked hard enough that I was that far ahead. But it shouldn't bother me, I really am right where God wants me, and I'm trying to get better at just accepting that fact that other people may be ahead, but its where they are supossed to be.
Have you ever felt behind?
Do you tend to act like it doesn't bother you, or show your emotion?
-Mikayla-
Hey, I'm totally with you on the Algebra thing. I still haven't finished Algebra 1 and I'm fifteen too. And my 12 year old sister is in Algebra 2. It's a little discouraging to see her ahead of me every day, but that's the gift God gave her. She's not a writer, and God has given me the ability to write and different talents. *shrugs* But that doesn't mean I don't struggle with it. It's hard to act like I don't care and that I'm not jealous of her abilities. :p
ReplyDeleteAnother really thought-provoking post. :)
Awesome, were together then! ;P Yeah, I know a twelve year old thats almost done with algebra to. Yep, everyone has different tallents. =D
DeleteThanks Katie! Its good to know there are some other people out there doing the same thing!
-Mikayla-
Mikayla, this was a WONDERFUL post. Your "Food for Thought" posts have gotten really good (not that they weren't before :)), but this one especially was very well-written and personal. This is something I have struggled with, too: comparing myself with others. But look at you! You've gotten to go to D.C., you've traveled cross-country, you know how to do all kinds of sewing patterns, stitches, etc., you've read a cabillion books, you have a wonderful family who loves you and supports you in what you do (not everyone has one of those), you've got amazing friends who love you and care about you, you've got a totally awesome blog, you've got a skill with writing and photography, you know how to brighten people's day... need I continue? :) You've got things that a lot of others don't have, and you've had many opportunities that others haven't. I know it's hard when you look at other people and wish you could be where they are, but you're right, they're where they need to be and you're where you need to be. And yes, everyone's battled those feelings before! It's normal! Just don't forget you're loved in the eyes of your Savior, your family, and your friends. :)
ReplyDeleteHaha, there's my official PK sermon for the week. ;P
Aww, I'm glad. I felt like it was rather thrown together so I'm glad to hear it sounded better than I thought! =)
DeleteYour one of those awesome friends you know. =) I love your PK sermons! They are so good! =D ;D
Thank you so much for the encouragement Lauren! It means a lot to me. =D
-Mikayla-
you know what...we're in the same boat. lol!
ReplyDeleteI have never really done a good grammar coarse.
<< lol. My writing has helped me improve!
I have not completed Algebra 1 yet, and I'm 15.
<< Well, I haven't even started yet. lol. Although I will be later on this year..
I have not traveled outside of the U.S.
<< nope, me either..in fact, I've never liked traveling.
I can't recite scripture very well.
<< me either, although sometimes when I read a verse...it just always stays in my mind!
I can't play a single instrument.
<< lol. Me either...again.
I can't tell you the name of each state.
<< uh, I couldn't tell you where they are-but I could probably name all 50..I think. Rather not test that one. lol.
I haven't done a lot of things that most people have.
<< Well, everyone is different. It would be a boring world if we were all the same, don't you think?
Just to let you know...your not alone. I know, sometimes I can feel down-but then it's best to look at all the gifts God has gifted you with! I just try to improve on the gifts God has given me-like my writing. I have improved greatly in the last few months. I've seen people who have already written 50,000 words on NaNo, but you know what-I got 23,000 so far and that's a lot for me! I'm just happy that God helped me accomplish that much. :) Never give up! God gave you gifts--special ones!
Good to know someone else is the same way. =D Thanks for the encuragment! =D
Delete-Mikayla-
Great post! I totally understand and can feel that way too sometimes - but totally! - God has everybody in different positions and has given each of us different gifts. :) Thanks for posting, Mikayla!!!
ReplyDelete-Micaiah-
P.S. This comment is a bit late. XD I haven't been on a computer all weekend, and my computer is in the 'hospital' getting fixed. :P ;) Sooooo... I am using my sister's right now. :P Haha... yeah, anyways. I'll email you back SOON!
Thank you Micaiah! I'm trying to remember that, and not get upset. =)
DeleteThat's totally fine, I'm thrilled you commented! =D I can't wait to hear from you! =D
-Mikayla-
Girl, I haven't done hardly any things on that list either! But there ARE a lot of other things you have done! I struggle with that too, especially being surrounded my non-homeschoolers. Especially at the end of the school year when everyone is counting down the days and I can't. =/ But we got each other. =) Thank you for these posts, we all need to be reminded of it. Being "behind" by others strandreds are hard. But you are exactly where you need to be. =) <3
ReplyDeleteI love you!!!
Good to know I'm not in this alone in this! Your awesome!!
Delete-Mikayla-