Feeling like a Failure
Sometimes I feel like a failure. This month, for example, I decided
to yet again do Camp NaNo where I would be writing 10,000 words in thirty days.
Super easy right? Well, I fell behind really fast because of a family event we
had going on but I was fine, until I saw how far ahead all my friends were. I
mean, I was just barely getting started at the end of the first week and some
of them were halfway done. So, last night I spent a long time writing and got
caught up. I was so proud, I wouldn’t be in the losers group after all! Then I
saw it again, someone was almost done with their goal and all the
accomplishment I had had suddenly felt puny. I mean, I was barely caught up and
they were almost done. Why was I even bothering if I couldn’t keep up with
other people? What if I finished after all of them, then I would look silly.
Then it hit me; why was I doing NaNo?
Was it to beat out everyone else with how fast I could
write? No. It was because I had a story to tell and I wanted to challenge
myself to write it faster than I had been.
So why was I so upset? Because I felt like being behind
everyone else meant I was a failure.
It’s not.
It doesn’t matter what your behind on, school, word count,
homework, cleaning, emails, projects, WHATEVER, its okay! Being behind someone
does not make you a failure. It means you’re behind them, period.
In this life, there will always be someone ahead of you,
pretty much no matter what you’re doing. But its okay, God has got you right
where you need to be, and he’ll help you get where you need to be.
Jerimiah 29:11 For I
know the plans I have for you,” declares The Lord, “plans to prosper you and
not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Your amazing no matter where you are.
-Mikayla-
I totally get how you feel. I've been feeling like this lately with blogging. It's been over a WEEK since I last posted, and I feel a lot of stress and obligation to get the next post up. And then I look over at other people's blogs.
ReplyDelete"She's doing camp, she's sick, AND she manages to post on her blog twice a week! How?"
It's really easy to put myself down, just because I'm comparing myself to others. I'm a naturally competitive person. I want to be the best. I want to win.
But I have to remind myself that God is the one in charge of our lives, and He gave different gifts to different people. He'll think no less of me if I'm not the best, and the blogging community is usually very understanding.
That was a fairly long comment, but your post gave me a chance to say what I've been thinking about lately. xD Thank you for sharing, Mickayla!
I can completely relate to you. I'm rather competitive and I have to constantly remind myself its alright and that outdoing peoples not the goal, its completing it. =)
DeleteThats okay, I love long comments. =D
Thanks for commenting Katie!
-M.H.-
That's wonderful!! Sometimes I can help when you see how others are doing so you can keep going as well, as long as your not beating yourself down! How many words have you done so far? Just concentrate on getting those 10,000 words down!! You go, girl!
ReplyDeleteI've done around 4.000, I'm not quite sure exactly how many right now. I know I'm cough up, that was the real battle. =D
Delete-M-
Good point, Mikayla! We shouldn't compare ourselves and our accomplishments to others and what they've done, because we're uniquely us! :)
ReplyDelete-Micaiah-
Thank you! =D
Delete-M-
Great thoughts and turn of attitude, Mikayla. <3 But I think you're the best no matter what. :) ;) I LOVE YOU!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jess! It means a lot to me! =) Your awesome to!! =D
Delete-Mikayla-